Remembrance

I am always moved by Remembrance Sunday. My father served in the RAF but later joined the REME. He taught me never to forget the sacrifice made by those who fell in the war.

The Solitary Organist

As a bit of a loner I suppose I was always destined to play the organ. One has the power to play quietly or very loudly - I would not be a good flautist. I think I enjoy pulling the stops, pressing pistons, combining timbres and colouring the verses of hymns. In short I like to be in control.

Therein lies a problem. During a service I am captive. There are long periods (such as the sermon!) when I do not play anything and I cannot affect what is going on. At those times I am a nobody.

Other than the hymns I play pre- and post-service voluntaries but people talk during those. I understand my playing is not a recital at those times, but it used to be the case that a congregation would gradually hush as service time approached. Indeed they would have been 'trained' to calm themselves and get into the right frame of mind for an hour of devotion and praise. Would you chatter about the weather, the latest supermarket deal or Mrs Onion's rheumatism moments before meeting the Queen? Why do it just before an encounter with God?

An organist is likely to have been brought up as a chorister and to have had certain kinds of training, as well as having learned by example back in the days when things were done differently. Many of us are not happy bunnies and we feel undervalued. Oddly, we do not necessarily seek more money nor do we want folk to be profuse in their verbal thanks. In my case I want people to say nice things about me behind my back. The sad fact is that the treatment we get leads us to suspect that we are not positively discussed, if we are discussed at all, and that many a church would rather have a praise band (that's link is just to a random one)

More organists are turning to YouTube for satisfaction as they 'Can't get no satisfaction' in church. With the advent of digital organs this easy to do: in my youth when the notion was unthinkable as there was no internet!

Even YouTube does not have all the answers because a chap can fail to attract an audience and the necessary views which will make all the effort worthwhile.

I belong to an Organists' Association but it is made of up of - well - other organists and I don't find some of them very attractice people to be around: I'm sure they think the same about me.

So all this comes down to self image. These days unless one is young, brilliant and probably female the world is not going to pay you much attention.

We chaps just have to get used to it. Perhaps I should change religion.

Good Friday

These days Holy Week passes me by much the same as any other week. This is because I am not involved in 'the church' or Christianity for a multitude of reasons. In my youth Holy Week (culminating in Easter, obviously) was a busy time and, when I became a regular organist, there were several services to play for.

One feature of times past was the Three Hours Devotion. One cathedral website says -

This is the traditional preaching service for Good Friday...Very often, the three hours is interspersed with hymns, prayers and silence so that our reflection can take many forms. This service aims to finish at 15:00, the time that Jesus died on the cross.

So it still goes on but I have not attended one since about 1975. It was a real marathon and my only duty was to play 3 or 4 hymns during the time. People were permitted to come in for a part of the service but I had to stay the whole time. I found ways of filling the time; these days I guess I would take my mobile phone!

I have attended Easter Vigils on Holy Saturday too. A small bonfires is lit just outside the church and there is a slow procession into the church, stopping three times when the priest sings "The Light of Christ", gradually rising in pitch each time.

The Holy week services make me feel uncomfortable and I suppose that is the point. We are meant to share in the passion of Jesus and his suffering. It is also the case that people like me want their religion to be nice and easy and slotted in to a convenient 'window' of the week.

To attend a 3 hour devotion service requires discipline which even the disciples of Jesus lacked: it is significant that the words are similar - discipline and disciple. Being religious requires staying power and I think I used mine up years ago.

One ex-chorister friend of mine used to say that he doesn't go to church any more because he feels he is 'in credit' after all the services he had to attend as a boy.