Avoiding Cognitive Dissonance

I recently cut back on my bellringing and yesterday I decided that I need to cut back on some of my organ playing.

I like playing the organ but that is about all I enjoy about church in the 21st century. I have blogged before about Show and Tell, chatter and other aspects of services which bore me rigid - SERMONS!

I have tried to rationalise, in my head, that an incumbent can run a service how he or she likes (actually I wonder if this is the case) and that I am only there to provide the music: the service is not being run to keep me happy. Still, it is fact that I am not happy and I put this down to cognitive dissonance.

I believe my mind struggles to balance the fact that I dislike a lack of order and decorum with the fact that I realise the world has changed and that styles of worship need to appeal to people who seek entertainment from church services. I see, far more, that church is a place where people go to engage in social activity at inappropriate times. I have always disliked the passing of the Peace in services.

So there we are. After September (I am committed until then) I shall reduce my church-going. I still have to consider what I am going to do about church #1 in the benefice as the services are taken by the same vicar. I have not taken to this person. I don't suppose it is the vicar's fault any more than the fact that I don't care to eat fish or play football: neither are things I like.

It is not my place to judge if the priest is good at their job but for someone to assume that everyone is as happy as Larry and run services with such an upbeat and 'game-show' atmosphere certainly makes me feel the job could be done differently.

Howells and a screaming child

Choral Evensong from Selwyn College has just come across my Facebook feed so I have been listening to it. Who the hell takes a screaming kid to choral evensong?

The canticles in the above video are by Herbert Howells whose music was really popular when I was a chorister and, I assume, still is. This music speaks powerfully to me although I did not initially like the St. Paul's Service when I was young, although all ex-choristers love the "Coll. Reg". I think the first set I got to know was the B minor which I have not heard for years.

Listening to Howells' music takes me back and I feel both nostalgic and emotional. I was incredibly lucky to be a chorister under one of the finest choir trainers of his time in a period when church music was highly-valued. We worked hard as choristers and we were urged to aim for perfection: this was an attitude instilled in us. Mistakes, yawns, bad intonation and poor dynamics were frowned upon. Bum notes from the organ were as rare as poo from a wooden horse.

I was also lucky enough to sing in the first performance of Howells' "Thee Will I Love" which was written for Peterborough Cathedral and the commemoration (with a Solemn Requiem) of the 1100th anniversary of the Massacre of the monks of Medehamstede and first performed in Peterborough Cathedral on 9 November 1970: I was 12. This is a long anthem with an absolutely brilliant climactic moment just over a minute in at the word "Reigneth". I once conducted it when I was an organ scholar some 8-9 years later.

I would have liked to have been present at an evensong like this one featured on YouTube but the child would have ruined it for me. I can only assume there is something I do not know as to why this child was there. I had to stop listening to the video as I was totally distracted by the extraneous noise: full marks to the professionalism of the musicians. I simply could get get 'into the zone' as it were. Even the dignified recitation of the Creed was spoilt for me.

It has been a day of spoilt worship. Communion this morning was ruined by [a] Show and Tell church [b] a long sermon which merely retold the old testament reading's story of Elijah and the Baal worshippers. No mention of Father's Day.

I think I simply do not enjoy church any more and I need to stop playing for services which annoy me.

Audience participation

I am not used to audience participation in church, other than in the hymns. Yesterday the lady who did the intercessions invited anyone who wanted to pray for somebody to call out their first name. Only one person did so.

Whatever happened to "Let us hold in our hearts anyone in particular we wish to pray for" on the basis that they are known to God? This seems to me all to be part of the 'show and tell' culture in church.

Perhaps God needs a helping hand these days.

A good morning

To avoid an excessively long post (but it has turned out to be long), I shall reflect upon today’s events over the coming week as and when thoughts crystallize in my mind. There is, however, a good chance that I shall forget what I was going to say: I am sure my reader will not mind!

I got up at 06:30, dressed, had breakfast and, wearing my deputy organist hat, drove some 54 miles to play for 2 services – one at 09:30 and another at 11:15 at different churches in a benefice. I have been there before.

There was a short choir practice before the service in the first warm church (the heat was on) and I had had the music a few days in advance. I set up the pistons, although I did 50% of the registration by hand. I had prepared “Sheep may safely graze” by Bach as it is Good Shepherd Sunday although it took me a page to get used to the organ again so there were some odd notes! I played a second pre-service piece and then the vicar came to start the service. This is just what I like: a clear beginning and a moment of calm before the first hymn. None of the dreadful chatter I get locally nor the need to shout “Good morning” over the sound system. (Also, the sound systems worked very well in both churches whereas, locally, there is always some issue or other with flat battery, poor reception or crackles in the sound).

The service – at both places – progressed straight through according to the service book. Each was orderly, dignified and totally lacking in “Show and Tell Church”: the act of worship was indeed an act of worship in which I was fully focussed throughout and the chatty, socialising aspect of the occasion was reserved for post-service coffee; as it should be.

I knew I was going to hear the same sermon twice today but I enjoy listening to this incumbent, because she is worth listening to. It was a joy to hear lovely clear diction, a genuine sense of conviction combined with a sense of friendly authority. In so many services I attend I do feel that the priest is verging on banter with the congregation or is actually being far too ‘chummy’. It could be that – by virtue of my upbringing and my pre-retirement job – I expect clergy to have about them the air of an educator. I did feel we were being given advice about how to incorporate both God and religion into our lives which is something I seldom feel. More on this tomorrow.

Normally I am relieved when a service ends and I can go home. After the first service I drove to church #2 ready to repeat the same hymns and most of the same music to a fresh set of ears. The second organ keeps one on one's toes because it is new and very responsive. It is, however, small so it needs careful registration to allow one to keep sound in reserve yet still lead the singing.

Sadly there were only 18 people present, including myself the priest and the server(s). The sermon was almost identical but not read from notes; again it lasted just 10 minutes but seemed shorter. It turns out that the priest was previously a barrister and so she would have needed to speak clearly and with conviction to win over a jury!

The drive home (mainly up the M1) took 1 hour 20 minutes and, no doubt, I shall be tired tomorrow. Nevertheless it was well worth going and I do feel uplifted, not just because I played tolerably well but because my jaundiced view of the C of E could well be affected by the diocese in which I live.

A church service is not a housegroup

It would be an interesting study to make a pie chart of the way time is used in a church service. I know I have droned on about this before, but yesterday was a case in point.

If we, as humans, see the need to worship an almighty being, learn from scripture and improve our outlook on the world and towards our fellow humans, then the hour a week most of us devote to this needs to be rather more productive and inspiring.

To start a service with "Show and Tell church" seems to be a waste of time. I don't mind the old, "Let us spend a moment in quiet prayer as we remember the many blessings God has bestowed on us this week". To expect people to share details of their personal lives can be invasive and it makes me cringe, to be honest. When the invitation goes out there is often a silence until some brave soul comes up with something mundane. So often what people are thankful for veers towards the "God helped me find  a parking space" type of comment. There are some which go deeper such as the lady who was thankful for increased confidence after a period when life had been cruel to her, resulting in her confidence being sapped.

When I attended an Evangelical church it was common for members of the congregation to 'share'. Indeed I did so myself because I had briefly (I thought) 'Got' religion. So, what I think is happening in the 21st century church is that 'normal' C of E services are having aspects of the evangelical tradition introduced and - I am afraid, at least for me - it does not work. The English church attendee of a certain age (55+) does not want to be all luvvy-duvvy and open. I digress, slightly.

So too much time is taken up chatting and letting people chat. This can be fine in a house group but a service is not, IMHO, a housegroup.

Add in notices & announcements, directed prayers (consecration) and a long sermon (to a captive audience) and much of the time is spent listening and not on active worship. I guess some 10-12 minutes of an hour (+) are spent singing whilst up to 6 minutes are spent saying the Creed and other parts which require folk to join in.

What I also find annoying is the frequent change from one mood to another. A topic for another day?