In a few hours I shall be 61. Life has changed over the last 20 years: cancer* and divorce aside.
I celebrated my 40th by arranging an ad hoc choir to sing Evensong at Peterborough Cathedral; this was followed by a meal. Several people who came to that 'do' have died.
I was planning to do a similar thing for my 50th but I was having a rough time what with one thing and another. I went to dinner at a friend's house with my then wife but I didn't enjoy it.
I cannot recall my 60th - I don't think I did much. Usually my birthday falls during the week at school when we put on a play: every 2 years it is a musical so I am very much involved. This year the play is later in the term but there is still a rehearsal tomorrow which I shall be at: it will be another 12-hour day.
Is 61 old? Well I get home and just don't want to go out. Now that it is darker and colder at night I certainly don't want to go out. I am currently watching two episodes of House each evening. I then check my email and go to bed by 10. If there is something good on the Comedy Club on Radio 4 Extra I listen to that but I nod off at 1030 at the latest.
I feel old. I want to retire. I hardly make a difference anywhere anymore. The world has changed and the values society holds are not well aligned with my own. 'Twas ever thus, I suppose.
* sorted out I hope - I'm under regular review.
Of course you make a difference. Even if every last person simply vowed not to be an a-hole. they would make a difference, but your talents, compassion and intelligence clearly run a lot deeper than that!
ReplyDeleteI believe we are living in a society where human beings are being deliberately devalued and we must not believe it. We must all believe we are highly valuable and have a lot to offer. I run a local writing group, among other activities, and derive great satisfaction from bringing people together, making a strike against social isolation, inspiring new writers, helping a few members with early dementia, and even helping keep our much beleaguered local library open by so doing.
Everyone can make a difference and be part of the difference they want to see.
I also make it my business to step out of my comfort zone at least once a week to keep myself mentally fresh and avoid getting in a rut.
Thanks Laura. I get really down when I am tired. Yes society does devalue people. Think of all the reality TV and people getting voted out of things. Why do celebrities go into the jungle to be humiliated? What is wrong with the world?
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