Did I work too hard yesterday? I did a lot, anyway. This always seems to have an impact the following day so today I am a bit down. I didn't think I was at first; it has crept up on me.
I got up early (I just woke up) and checked email, had breakfast and got dressed. At 0905 I went out to play bowls which I was happy to do to fill in for another player. I have usually been 'lead' which means I send my bowls down the rink (this is not 10-pin bowling) first. Today I was given the task of being 'third' which is a level of responsibility I am not used to. I floundered as I don't know how to read a head and give the 'skip' advice.
My head started to fog up: I was under pressure and I knew it. Then I started to play less well than I would have liked, so the 'skip' started giving me advice and telling me what I already knew. I don't need that - I can tell when a shot is bad and I know why!!
I didn't enjoy the game and I am glad I am at home.
Now a lot of this is due to my body's response to various factors: fatigue, peer group pressure, self criticsm, lack of self-esteem and all the rest of the baggage we as humans carry. I shall probbaly feel fine tomorrow.
What has this got to do with church?
Well - and I shall not explain this very well - religion, faith and spirituality are put forward as the answer to mankind's problems. Trust in God and all that. What the church is not good at is realising that people respond in different ways on different days. We are all described as sinners and in need of redemption. Some of us are just trying to get through daily life as best we can. We don't need to be told we are imperfect into the bargain.
Where, I suppose, some people do find comfort in religion is in believing that there is a God who loves them despite their faults. So no matter how bad or useless a person believes their family, work colleagues and leisure & social contacts think a person is, then they are supposed to be comforted by the fact that there is an invisible friend in the sky who is on their side.
Me, I just want to lick my emotional wounds and feel better. I want to hide and hope my mind will sort itself out.
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