Like being in school

Yesterday’s service was, for me, an object lesson in why people do not go to church.

Who wants to be stuck in a cold building for an hour whilst they are spoken to as if they are children in a classroom? I go to some churches where the aim of the hour is actually to worship, and that is what we do. However, there is one place where I play where services go like this: (I’m sure I have said this before)

• Organ music before the service to set an atmosphere
• Atmosphere ruined by chatty, giggly introductory notices from ‘young’ vicar
• First hymn
• Then another giggly section is inserted which isn’t in the service book where people ‘stick their hands up’ to say what has gone well for them in the week just gone and for which they are thankful.
• Readings as normal and a Gradual hymn before the Gospel
• Sermon – again a lecture/lesson explaining the Bible and not really giving practical advice about faith in modern life. This can last up to 20 minutes and takes no account of the normal adult (or child) attention span.
• Creed
• Intercessions – we are told what to pray for but I suppose we need guidance on this
• After this the service does focus on the Eucharist
• Afterwards there is a hymn
• Just as we are about to leave – having ended the service, there are more notices before the dismissal.

When I was a teacher we were judged on whether or not our lessons had flow and momentum. Some services I attend are far too 'stop - start'.

A club?

Nothing really new today as I suppose this is one of the bees in my bonnet.

Church services these days - in some places - seem to be little more than House Groups taking place in a church building. There are places where the services are led entirely by the priest or priests in charge (with members of the congregation reading or doing the intercessions) but I have attended services where there is a great deal of chatter during the service which is actually encouraged by the priest. I leave feeling that I have not participated in an act of worship.

I have recently found a church which does have all the elements and style which I like and which is also in dire need of an organist. They said they felt I could help them but they have not got back to me!

Disappointing.

Hymns for children

If I ever have to play "Kumbaya, My Lord" I am not sure what I shall do: I hate it. (I could, however, listen to the great Judith Durham singing anything.)

Yes, children need approachable hymn repertoire but, by the time I was at primary school, we were singing 'proper' hymns and we had hymn practice every week. The only 'new' items we had were when the Twentieth Century tunes were first introduced in the late 1960s, such as "At the Name of Jesus" to Camberwell which is fine.

So, imagine my dismay when I found "We have a King who rides a donkey" in a hymn book.

 I'm sorry, but it does nothing for me. Can you see what I mean?

Avoiding Cognitive Dissonance

I recently cut back on my bellringing and yesterday I decided that I need to cut back on some of my organ playing.

I like playing the organ but that is about all I enjoy about church in the 21st century. I have blogged before about Show and Tell, chatter and other aspects of services which bore me rigid - SERMONS!

I have tried to rationalise, in my head, that an incumbent can run a service how he or she likes (actually I wonder if this is the case) and that I am only there to provide the music: the service is not being run to keep me happy. Still, it is fact that I am not happy and I put this down to cognitive dissonance.

I believe my mind struggles to balance the fact that I dislike a lack of order and decorum with the fact that I realise the world has changed and that styles of worship need to appeal to people who seek entertainment from church services. I see, far more, that church is a place where people go to engage in social activity at inappropriate times. I have always disliked the passing of the Peace in services.

So there we are. After September (I am committed until then) I shall reduce my church-going. I still have to consider what I am going to do about church #1 in the benefice as the services are taken by the same vicar. I have not taken to this person. I don't suppose it is the vicar's fault any more than the fact that I don't care to eat fish or play football: neither are things I like.

It is not my place to judge if the priest is good at their job but for someone to assume that everyone is as happy as Larry and run services with such an upbeat and 'game-show' atmosphere certainly makes me feel the job could be done differently.

Church for Kiddies

My reader (!) will be aware that I favour a certain kind of churchmanship. I came across a video which sums up all that is wrong - from my perspective - with church worship in the 21st century.

I understand that the C of E wants to be approachable and welcoming: it may have been stuffy and remote in the past and a church style of the 1950s-1970s may not attract people these days. That said, I find plenty wrong with the video below (for as long as it stays on YouTube).

• A church service should not start with someone shouting "Good morning" as is so often the case now. Yes, this is not a formal service where the vicar has processed in; he has to get the congregation's attention somehow. Oh wait, I find that even if I try to set an atmosphere as an organist I have to contend with chatter and noise.
• At 57 seconds we see and hear the vicar leading the clapping. Again, one has to hear the reading just before this to set it in context but I would feel very uneasy in this setting. What is the point of clapping? This is not an old peoples' home where one is trying to get geriatrics to join in with enthusiasm. It all seems false to me. I accept that this may have been shortly after Lockdown (March 2021) and people may have not been too happy to sing in an enclosed space so clapping was an alternaive. See how I am getting to see the other side of the story?
• Then they go outside (this is obviously an edited service). I have never been a fan of singing outside and the trite "Hosanna" they are singing with a tambourine backing is less than dignified IMHO.

I have never been to Haddon and this was just one video which popped up as a result of some searching I have done in the area close by.

One must remember that, despite what derision I may pour upon this act of worship, the vicar may be extremely good with his flock, at the bedside of ill people, comforting the bereaved and everything else that an incumbent does. It is not his fault. He may have had a job before entering the priesthood and be quite worldly wise: I do not know. He will have been trained for his role and will be relying upon what he has been taught is the correct way to lead worship in the 21st century. It may be that he comes from an evangelical tradition; who knows.

So apologies to Haddon; this video just illustrates a point or two.

My question is, "Where does dumbing down stop?"

Do your own thing

A few times, recently, I have had to play at services where there has been a baptism. (To me this just makes the service longer but I suppose I get bored easily and Christians are meant to welcome new members of the flock.) My children were baptised in private ceremonies.

What has got my goat is the way that some churches add their own little bits into the service. It used to be the case that a baby was anointed with the Oil of Chrism and then baptised with water. All fine.

A few weeks ago the vicar (who was the baby's grandfather and invited to perform the ceremony) got ALL the Godparents (and parents) to anoint the infant AND say the short verse which goes with this procedure. Clearly, some of those involved were uncomfortable with this but did it anyway.

Then there is a church which has extra bits in the Eucharistic prayer. They break up the long prayer of consecration with "Why do we do XYZ?" and the response from the congregation "Listen and you will hear."