I am not looking forward to going to church tomorrow as it will be the first time I've seen the vicar since yesterday's events which caused me to edit a post. I don't think I can look the vicar in the eye. I've done nothing wrong but I am the one who is affected.
I emailed to show that my booking for the wedding had been confirmed (by sending back the email which said so) and mentioned that I felt I needed to reassess my commitment to playing at the church. I received a reply that it was not fair to say that after one single error. I have never formally been appointed as organist.
Nothing about it not being fair to have booked me and then to have booked somebody else, claiming forgetfulness.
I had a restless might last night as this issue has affected me deeply; I had to lie awake working out why I was so affected. In short, a situation has arisen which affects me negatively but I have no come-back and have to live with the consequences which are
- loss of earning
- I had adjusted my diary to fit in with this wedding
- my position at the church does not seem to be clear cut
- I have had yet further reinforcement of the feeling that people can ignore me on a whim (local issue, nothing to do with church)
This problem has reminded me of something in my past which happened to me which I brought to the attention of the people who needed to sort it out. I was told to 'man up': I was only 7 at the time.
No comments:
Post a Comment